God's Will is NOT Best for You

     As someone who grew up in church, I have constantly heard that God's will is the best place for me to be; that if I entrust everything I am to the Creator of the universe and walk in His plans for me, I won't have to face any inconveniences. In some ways, this misconception led me into a mindset where coming face-to-face with minor 'troubles' meant that I was not in God's will; and boy, was I wrong. While I don't disagree with the fact that God's will is ultimately where we should be, I will say this: God's will is not best for you...if you want to be comfortable.
     I think any minister's family could tell you that, on occasion, being in God's will means being inconvenienced. Sometimes it means being broke down on the side of the road (more on that later) or giving away a beloved possession or showing love to someone you'd rather be showing your fighting skills to. Sometimes it takes sacrifice. And that is TOTALLY uncomfortable. I mean, who does God think He is, requiring us to sacrifice and stuff...?**
     1 Timothy 2:4 says that God wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth. Let me tell you, He has some strange ways of getting everyone saved, a lot of which involve sacrifice on our part.
     For example: the other day, my parents drove an hour to come pick me up from a friends' church. We had just eaten lunch when I got a text from our worship leader asking if I would be at our home church that night, because our drummer went missing (or just went to a concert, but making it sound as if she went missing is a lot more interesting) and she needed me to fill in. Seeing that it was only 2:00 and church started at 6:00, I told her I'd be there with time to spare, which would most likely be spent ingesting any caffeine I could find because early mornings and I don't mix very well.
      By the time we left the restaurant, it was around 2:30. We got about 10-15 miles out of town when we realized, while rounding a corner, we had a flat tire. While my dad called a tow truck, I sat there thinking: No biggie, they'll come get us in no time. But no, they didn't follow my plan. They told us it would be about an hour before they could come get us, and it was already 3:00.

I'm not in this picture because I was mad and
ready to fight anyone who tried to make me
 feel otherwise.

      I was livid. How did they not know that their schedule revolved around my plans? While I angrily leaned up against a tree, my family decided to make the best of the free time we had been given and stood on the edge of the road like statues, waiting for cars to pass. I am willing to admit that I was a party pooper that day and very annoyed at the fact that my family was having fun in the midst of my 'misery,' so I stayed hidden from my mom's camera.
      The tow truck finally arrived at 4:30. When he realized there were five of us and one extra seat in his truck, he had to call his coworker with a larger cab. I definitely wasn't making it to church. We waited another 20 minutes for him to get there and, in those minutes of extra waiting, I'm pretty sure Anger from "Inside Out" became the sole controller of my emotions. I got into the truck and suspected that the 'worst day of my life' would never come to a close.
       Then, something crazy happened. My dad began to talk to this truck driver and found that he had recently lost someone close to him. My dad turned the conversation to Christ, to which Mr. Truck Man (definitely not his actual name) replied: "I love religious music, just not religion or religious people." Suddenly, I realized why our tire decided to be flat that day: it was God's will. You see, while I desperately wanted to be beating my heart out on a drum, God desperately wanted my family and I to be softening the heart of Mr. Truck Man. While he may not have rededicated his life during our 10-minute drive to Walmart, I believe that God used us to help get him closer to that point.
        Though that was my main 'aha moment' of the day, we also got to minister to the mechanics that worked on our car at Walmart. I also got a new coffee maker, but that's beside the point. The point of this is this: God's will isn't the force that builds our happiness; it is the force that builds His kingdom. The next time you're inconvenienced, recognize that it may be God's will and then let Him use you. Like my dad always says, 'turn your adversity into adventure.' (Don't let him know that I used a quote of his in a post, then he'll think he's cool and stuff.)
        Despite the fact that I still like to make my own plans, I always have to remind myself that Proverbs 16:9 says: 'We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps" (NLT). At the end of the day, the plans we make for ourselves cannot even compare to God's will for us; so don't get discouraged when you're faced with problems, because God is using you, my friend. So you go rock that opportunity like no other!
     

**sarcasm was used in the making of this sentence

The Gift of Depression

*cue dramatic music* 'The Blues' - Switchfoot 

   If someone would've came up to me at my 11th birthday party and handed me a free lifetime subscription to Daily Depression, I would have punched them square in the jaw. Because it takes a horrible person to allow an 11-year-old to become depressed, right...? Wrong. I know this is crazy, but I believe that God has allowed me this 'gift.' By allowed, I mean that, while the depression itself is not of God, He has allowed this struggle to be in my life. Yes, it drives me nuts, it makes me ache from the innermost parts of my soul, and, to be honest, it makes me completely miserable at times. Now, if you're thinking 'God wouldn't do that, God is only good,' I encourage you to realize that, just because my/your circumstances aren't that good, it doesn't mean that God is not good. With God on our side, we will eventually be 'fine,' but it will take some time (I'm so sorry all of that had to rhyme, I didn't plan on it :P).

      So, why do I believe that my struggles are a gift? To answer this, I like to think of Job and Paul. In the book of Job, God allows Satan to torture Job and give him everything but death itself. Did you catch that? God allowed Satan to torture Job. God allowed Job to struggle so his faith would be tested. Through testing his faith, God taught Job that all he really ever needed was Him. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, Paul says: "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'" (NIV). These stories and passages make me wonder: when I struggle, is God testing me, teaching me, humbling me, or bringing me closer? I truly believe that God is using my struggles to do all four, which is why I believe that my struggle with depression is a gift. Besides being tested, taught, humbled, and brought closer, I have gained a better understanding of the people around me and, because of my past, I can relate to and help people that I may have never been able to reach before.

      Don't get me wrong; believing that the 'thorn in my flesh' is a gift does not make the struggle any easier. There are times when I feel like throwing in the towel and binge eating Kraft mac n' cheese, all while laying down. Yes, I do mean while laying down. Sitting up would mean that I cared about whether or not I choked on my grief n' cheese and, on certain days, I honestly wouldn't. Sometimes, I feel as if the weight of sadness from four-thousand ASPCA commercials is weighing on my shoulders and I can't escape. On those days, I doubt God. I doubt that my struggle will bring something beautiful. I doubt that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But I have to remember that trusting God doesn't mean that everything will always be okay; it doesn't mean that every bad circumstance will be immediately taken out of our lives if we call on God, because it is all in His timing.  In those situations, we may not need to pray for a change of circumstance, but a change of    heart.

      If we dwell too much on getting out of our situation, we might just miss the lesson within it. If we allow our pain to defeat us, we might be allowing our pain to defeat our potential. We were not made to be down, depressed, oppressed, anxious, hurt, bitter, angry, etc., but we can most definitely learn something from all of these emotions. God has a purpose for your pain. You may not know what it is, but it's there; I promise. Between now and healing, what is God trying to teach you? I asked myself this, and I have found that God is teaching me that I am strong, not because I am stubborn and come from two generations of redheads, but because all things are possible through His strength that dwells within me. You, too, are strong through Him. As God said to Paul, His strength is perfected through our weakness (on a semi-related note, 'Perfect' by Flyleaf is a wonderful reminder of this, but 'The Blues' better set the tone for this post), meaning that God's strength is far beyond perfect because we are weaker than heck. Brokenness isn't permanent, but God's strength and love are.
      Welp, that's all I have for y'all today. I hope you remember: whoever you are, both God and I love you very much and only want what is best for you. Lastly, tell me in the comments (only if you feel like it; no pressure) what are your struggles? What is God teaching you? How are you being humbled/taught/tested/ or brought closer? Do you like '20 Questions'? That last one is not an actual question, but I felt that it was necessary. Anyway, stay awesome, possums!  

P.S. After talking about depression, I feel like we could all use a puppy picture.